I am glad ( Read more... )

Therapy;
(about my dad, crying incoherently)
"he is so messed up,
which in turn makes us all so messed up,
and we're so messed up,
that if you take away the messed up around us,
we're still messed up!"

"well when you have an ordinary life,
with ordinary amounts of nastiness,
the happy moments in between
are what keeps you going"

"god should have skipped life ( Read more... )

To give up, because it's so damned hard, has never been my style ( Read more... )

I received my appointment in post on Friday. It's for the first week of October with an SHO female psychiatrist. I had to ring back to check it was with a female. Not sure how I feel about it being an SHO ( Read more... )

Haha look there's a part two, I haven't killed myself yet ( Read more... )

So it's pretty apparent from just going through my journal I can be depressed and I can be suicidal. And whilst I've completely avoided the idea of going to my GP or any health professional with these issues in the past, a year on and off of seeing a therapist privately meant that this time, whilst she's away on holiday and knowing that in the long ( Read more... )

I want this somewhere not password protected for a possible future. Shared with those mentioned below.

( Disturbing-ish... )

Dear God,

Maybe I don't kill myself because I am too chicken to deal with the pain; and too apathetic to actually do it. But the main reason I don't is because you said not to. Somewhere you put down suicide is a sin leading to eternal damnation, or something along those lines.

But I look around me and no one else's life is as fucked up as mine. It' ( Read more... )

I hate to have to do it,
but possibly I need a tag,
for "checking out early".

Just so I can track
how many times I've felt like that.

& I know if I go back,
it will be every other entry.
do I really need to see that?

Maybe it will make me see,
how real these problems,
have been.

I swear I've done a list like this before ( Read more... )